"One Messed Up Family"

HOPE CHAPEL - Sunday, March 14, 2021
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Teaching Series - “Our Family Tree–Through the Bible in 2021" 
Weekly Topic - “One Messed Up Family 
Text – Genesis 25-28
 
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I remember an experience that happened at Bible college.  One of our first year professors asked our class of just over 100 first year students to raise our hands if we thought we came from a good Christian home—not perfect, but still a healthy example of a Christian family.  I knew I wasn’t going to be raising my hand and assumed I would stand out from the rest of my Christian classmates who had come to Emmanuel that year.  To be certain everyone understood what was being asked, the professor restated the question, then asked for a show of hands.  Was I in for a surprise…of the 100+ students, less than ten raised their hands. 
 
As much as we students were surprised by the results, my professor was not.  We had all come with certain presuppositions about the kinds of people, and the families they represented, we would meet at Bible college.  My wise professor’s message was clear: our presuppositions had not held true when tested and we needed to reconsider what we thought we knew about our classmates and what ‘Christian family,’ more times than not, looked like.  Very few of us came from privileged homes blessed by unwavering faithfulness.  We all had baggage.  Here was an opportunity to make a fresh start…together.
 
Last week in our study, Eliezer, Abraham’s faithful servant, has just delivered a bride, Rebekah, to Abraham’s heir, Isaac.  Genesis 24:67 ends the story with “…and Isaac loved Rebekah deeply.”  It’s a fairy-tale ending.  The future patriarch of the family, Isaac, gets the beautiful Rebekah for a wife and they live happily ever after…or they would in a Disney rendition of the story.  The actual story ends quite differently.
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SIBLING RIVALRY FUELED BY PARENTAL FAVOURITISM – Genesis 25:20-28
“20 When Isaac was forty years old, he married Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel the Aramean from Paddan-aram and the sister of Laban the Aramean.
21 Isaac pleaded with the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was unable to have children. The Lord answered Isaac’s prayer, and Rebekah became pregnant with twins. 22 But the two children struggled with each other in her womb. So she went to ask the Lord about it. “Why is this happening to me?” she asked.
23 And the Lord told her, “The sons in your womb will become two nations. From the very beginning, the two nations will be rivals. One nation will be stronger than the other; and your older son will serve your younger son.”
24 And when the time came to give birth, Rebekah discovered that she did indeed have twins! 25 The first one was very red at birth and covered with thick hair like a fur coat. So they named him Esau. 26 Then the other twin was born with his hand grasping Esau’s heel. So they named him Jacob.  Isaac was sixty years old when the twins were born.
27 As the boys grew up, Esau became a skillful hunter. He was an outdoorsman, but Jacob had a quiet temperament, preferring to stay at home. 28 Isaac loved Esau because he enjoyed eating the wild game Esau brought home, but Rebekah loved Jacob.”
One of the things that surprised me in this story was the timeline of events, which I will attempt to lay out for us all as we proceed.  First off, we know that Isaac and Rebekah married when he was 40 years old; the fact that Rebekah was marriageable, but still single when Eliezer met her at the well tells us she was probably thirteen or fourteen.  Almost two decades into married life, however, and they still don’t have children.  Isaac prays for Rebekah and she conceives.
 
But this is no ordinary pregnancy.  She doesn’t just feel the occasional kick to her abdomen or headbutt under her diaphragm…there is a literal wrestling match going on inside her womb, which concerns her enough that she asks God, “What on earth is going on?  What is happening to me?”  God tells her she is carrying twins, who will each become a nation.  But these nations will be rivals right from the start and the younger son will be master over the older one.
 
And when the time of their birth arrives, their rivalry is out in the open for all to see.  Yes, Esau is born first, yet here comes Jacob hanging onto his heel.  Sometimes rivalry stems from being too much alike, but not in the case of Esau and Jacob.  Esau is born red and hairy (possibly had red hair) and grows up to be an adventurer, with a love for the outdoors and for hunting—the perfect spokesman for “Field and Stream” magazine.  Jacob didn’t care much for the manly pursuits of sleeping out under the stars, hunting, and the dirt and stink and boisterousness that comes with hanging out with the guys.  He preferred the comforts of home, a warm bed and …bathing facilities.
 
Differences aside, this should not have doomed them to a lifetime as rivals, but verse 28 gives a clear indication why this rivalry conceived in the womb was permitted to go unchecked, “Isaac loved Esau…but Rebekah loved Jacob.”  The resulting preferential treatment was not reserved for Esau and Jacob as children or teenagers alone, but followed them well into adulthood. 
 
If you were unfamiliar with the remainder of the story, how might you foresee events playing out?  But we’ll get back to that. 
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First, let’s read about another moment in the lives of these two brothers that provide us with further insight into their character.
 
IMPULSIVE ESAU & SCHEMING JACOB – Genesis 25:29-34
“29 One day when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau arrived home from the wilderness exhausted and hungry. 30 Esau said to Jacob, “I’m starved! Give me some of that red stew!” (This is how Esau got his other name, Edom, which means “red.”)
31 “All right,” Jacob replied, “but trade me your rights as the firstborn son.”
32 “Look, I’m dying of starvation!” said Esau. “What good is my birthright to me now?”
33 But Jacob said, “First you must swear that your birthright is mine.” So Esau swore an oath, thereby selling all his rights as the firstborn to his brother, Jacob.
34 Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and lentil stew. Esau ate the meal, then got up and left. He showed contempt for his rights as the firstborn.”
We have no idea how old Jacob & Esau are at this point in their story, but old enough to be aware of the implications of the transaction they are making.  Esau’s willingness to simply hand over his birthright for a bowl of stew and bread sounds like the impetuous decision of a teenager or young man in his twenties, who has yet to think about settling down.  He has no view of the future.  He just knows he’s starving and all he can smell is food.
 
Jacob on the other hand has grown up hearing his mother’s story of how, even though he is the youngest, he would become greater than his slightly older brother, Esau.  Having heard the story, it has made him eager to see its fulfillment.  So, as he’s cooking one day and spies the ravenous Esau heading his way, it seems like the perfect opportunity to see if he can help the prediction along.  Esau makes his demand, Jacob counters with a price.  Esau doesn’t even protest, simply mumbles an excuse for his quick acquiescence, “What good is my birthright when I’m practically dead now?”
 
The deal is sealed and nothing else is said of this arrangement until some fifty years later.  During the years between, we read in Genesis 26 that a famine drives the family into Philistine territory where they settle in Gerar and Isaac, stealing a page from his father’s life, claims that Rebekah is his sister…so as to keep his own life out of potential jeopardy.  King Abimelech spies Isaac caressing Rebekah in public one day and demands to know why he has lied in this way.  Abimelech then makes a proclamation for all of his subjects to leave Rebekah and Isaac alone.  Isaac lives in the area until he becomes too wealthy for the Philistine’s liking and they become jealous, causing them to chase him for the land.  Eventually he settles in Beersheba and continues to prosper, much to the Philistines’ chagrin.   Years after forcing Isaac to move out of his territory, Abimelech arrives with his advisor and army commander asking Isaac to make a treaty with him.  The chapter ends with the news that Esau, now forty, marries two Hittite women…much to his parents’ disapproval.
 
What does it tell us about Esau that he would choose to disobey God’s directive against marrying the locals first given to Abraham?
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The story then moves forward a few decades and we find that Isaac is now getting along in years and at the age of 130 decides to put his affairs in order.  Rebekah overhears her husband talking to her son Esau and hatches a plan to get Jacob what is now rightfully his—the firstborn’s blessing.
 
IN MARRIAGE, LONGEVITY DOES NOT EQUAL HARMONY – Genesis 27:1-17
“One day when Isaac was old and turning blind, he called for Esau, his older son, and said, “My son.”  “Yes, Father?” Esau replied.
2 “I am an old man now,” Isaac said, “and I don’t know when I may die. 3 Take your bow and a quiver full of arrows, and go out into the open country to hunt some wild game for me. 4 Prepare my favorite dish, and bring it here for me to eat. Then I will pronounce the blessing that belongs to you, my firstborn son, before I die.”
5 But Rebekah overheard what Isaac had said to his son Esau. So when Esau left to hunt for the wild game, 6 she said to her son Jacob, “Listen. I overheard your father say to Esau, 7 ‘Bring me some wild game and prepare me a delicious meal. Then I will bless you in the Lord’s presence before I die.’ 8 Now, my son, listen to me. Do exactly as I tell you. 9 Go out to the flocks, and bring me two fine young goats. I’ll use them to prepare your father’s favorite dish. 10 Then take the food to your father so he can eat it and bless you before he dies.”
11 “But look,” Jacob replied to Rebekah, “my brother, Esau, is a hairy man, and my skin is smooth. 12 What if my father touches me? He’ll see that I’m trying to trick him, and then he’ll curse me instead of blessing me.”
13 But his mother replied, “Then let the curse fall on me, my son! Just do what I tell you. Go out and get the goats for me!”
14 So Jacob went out and got the young goats for his mother. Rebekah took them and prepared a delicious meal, just the way Isaac liked it. 15 Then she took Esau’s favorite clothes, which were there in the house, and gave them to her younger son, Jacob. 16 She covered his arms and the smooth part of his neck with the skin of the young goats. 17 Then she gave Jacob the delicious meal, including freshly baked bread.”
 
Now that Isaac is an old man with failed eyesight, he determines to give his final blessing to his eldest son.  I am certain that he is aware of God’s pronouncement to Rebekah concerning the boys before they were born and of Esau’s selling his birthright to his brother Jacob, but it appears that he is determined to overrule these with the blessing he prepares to give to his favourite son.  Having sold his birthright, Esau has given up leadership of his family, the judicial authority of his father in terms of money and land, and a double portion of the inheritance.  I can’t help but wonder if Isaac is planning to change at least a portion of the outcome of a very foolish decision made on the part of Esau in his younger days.
 
It may interest you to note that Esau and Jacob are no longer young men at this point in their lives.  In my research, I discovered that they were likely between the age of 70 and 77 years—given the fact that Jacob dies as an old man at the age of 147, they are in mid-life. [I have included a timeline in the ‘further study’ section of today’s notes.]  So much for my flannelgraph memories of Jacob as a young man from this point onwards in the story!  Given these facts, a quick calculation tells us that Isaac and Rebekah have been married for approximately 90 years by this point.  This couple, despite their many married years together, have drawn opposite conclusions about what needs to happen.  As much as their sons have very different temperaments, I think it is likely that Isaac and Rebekah did as well.  Esau was his father’s son, and Jacob was very much his mother’s.
 
As much as Isaac may want to see Esau come out on top, Rebekah is equally determined to ensure that her favourite son gets everything coming to him…and maybe a little bit more.  It is obvious that she is the mastermind in the deception.  Together they prepare a meal to Isaac’s liking and disguise Jacob to appear as his brother—right down to putting goat’s hair on his arms and neck and borrowing one of Esau’s outfits so that Jacob would smell just like him. 
 
To pull this off Jacob doesn’t just have to lie to his father, he has to pretend to be his brother?  Ultimately, he agrees to his mother’s plan.  Would you have?
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But it almost doesn’t work.  Jacob simply cannot disguise his voice well enough.  But in the end Isaac does in fact become convinced that Jacob is actually Esau and pronounces his blessing on him.
 
FAMILY FALLOUT– Genesis 27:27-41
“So Jacob went over and kissed him. And when Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he was finally convinced, and he blessed his son. He said, “Ah! The smell of my son is like the smell of the outdoors, which the Lord has blessed!
 
28 “From the dew of heaven and the richness of the earth, may God always give you abundant harvests of grain and bountiful new wine.  29 May many nations become your servants, and may they bow down to you.  May you be the master over your brothers, and may your mother’s sons bow down to you.  All who curse you will be cursed, and all who bless you will be blessed.”
30 As soon as Isaac had finished blessing Jacob, and almost before Jacob had left his father, Esau returned from his hunt. 31 Esau prepared a delicious meal and brought it to his father. Then he said, “Sit up, my father, and eat my wild game so you can give me your blessing.”
32 But Isaac asked him, “Who are you?” Esau replied, “It’s your son, your firstborn son, Esau.”
33 Isaac began to tremble uncontrollably and said, “Then who just served me wild game? I have already eaten it, and I blessed him just before you came.  And yes, that blessing must stand!”
34 When Esau heard his father’s words, he let out a loud and bitter cry. “Oh my father, what about me? Bless me, too!” he begged.  35 But Isaac said, “Your brother was here, and he tricked me. He has taken away your blessing.”
36 Esau exclaimed, “No wonder his name is Jacob, for now he has cheated me twice.  First he took my rights as the firstborn, and now he has stolen my blessing. Oh, haven’t you saved even one blessing for me?”
37 Isaac said to Esau, “I have made Jacob your master and have declared that all his brothers will be his servants. I have guaranteed him an abundance of grain and wine—what is left for me to give you, my son?”
38 Esau pleaded, “But do you have only one blessing? Oh my father, bless me, too!” Then Esau broke down and wept.  39 Finally, his father, Isaac, said to him, “You will live away from the richness of the earth, and away from the dew of the heaven above.  40 You will live by your sword, and you will serve your brother.  But when you decide to break free, you will shake his yoke from your neck.”
41 From that time on, Esau hated Jacob because their father had given Jacob the blessing. And Esau began to scheme: “I will soon be mourning my father’s death. Then I will kill my brother, Jacob.”
We don’t know how long after these events that Rebekah gets word of Esau’s intent, though honestly it shouldn’t have come as a surprise.  Her plan to help her son Jacob finalize his claim to the birthright and blessing of the oldest son has succeeded, but not without a cost.  She now has to relinquish the possibility of ever seeing him again in order to try and save his life. 
 
Which do you think was greater…Rebekah’s pleasure at having succeeded in getting Jacob her husband’s blessing or her dread at the realization that Jacob’s life was now in jeopardy? 
 
She cannot come out and accuse Esau of wanting to kill Jacob, as Isaac is highly unlikely to believe this evil of his favourite son, so instead she complains about Esau’s Hittite wives and demands that Isaac direct Jacob to go to her brother, Laban, and find a wife amongst their relatives.  Isaac, who is also not happy with Esau’s choice of wives, agrees with his wife and calls Jacob to him.
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JACOB IS GIVEN GOD’S BLESSING – Genesis 28:1-4; 10-15
“So Isaac called for Jacob, blessed him, and said, “You must not marry any of these Canaanite women. 2 Instead, go at once to Paddan-aram, to the house of your grandfather Bethuel, and marry one of your uncle Laban’s daughters. 3 May God Almighty bless you and give you many children. And may your descendants multiply and become many nations! 4 May God pass on to you and your descendants the blessings he promised to Abraham. May you own this land where you are now living as a foreigner, for God gave this land to Abraham”…
10 Meanwhile, Jacob left Beersheba and traveled toward Haran. 11 At sundown he arrived at a good place to set up camp and stopped there for the night. Jacob found a stone to rest his head against and lay down to sleep. 12 As he slept, he dreamed of a stairway that reached from the earth up to heaven. And he saw the angels of God going up and down the stairway.
13 At the top of the stairway stood the Lord, and he said, “I am the Lord, the God of your grandfather Abraham, and the God of your father, Isaac. The ground you are lying on belongs to you. I am giving it to you and your descendants. 14 Your descendants will be as numerous as the dust of the earth! They will spread out in all directions—to the west and the east, to the north and the south. And all the families of the earth will be blessed through you and your descendants. 15 What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.”
 
How is it do you think, that Isaac was able to come to terms with Jacob’s having lied to him to steal the blessing, and was now willing to bless him further?
 
Though Jacob had not gone about it in the right way, God’s words spoken to Rebekah during her pregnancy were validated in Isaac’s blessing of his youngest son and then God’s direct affirmation.  At an age of between 70 and 77 years, Jacob finds himself the recipient of the blessing God first spoke to his grandfather, Abraham. Why did God choose Jacob over Esau?  I really don’t know.  Both appear to be unlikely candidates for ‘patriarch of the year’—one impulsive and at times rash, the other calculating and conniving.
 
…and this is just the beginning of the family dysfunction!  Anyone who knows the remainder of Jacob’s story knows how generational favouritism nearly destroys his son, Joseph, and leaves him mourning for years rather than enjoying his senior age surrounded by his family…until it’s almost to late to enjoy them at all.
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So, for those of us who come from less than perfect families, what is to be learned?
 
·         Your family isn’t perfect or even healthy?  Join the club!
·         Parental favouritism never produces favourable results.
·         Decisions made for expedience rarely work out for the best; results gained by trickery and deceit are never as sweet as those earned through honest means.
·         Being ‘chosen by God’ does not necessitate or indicate greater faithfulness; God’s choices are truly a mystery at times!
·         Messy families are common, even amongst those who follow God.  But thank God, He can work in and through us, despite ourselves.
·         God can fix messes and can even make good come out of poor choices.
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For further study:
https://tben.wordpress.com/2010/08/21/the-timeline-of-the-lives-of-isaac-jacob-and-joseph/ “The Timeline of the Lives of Isaac, Jacob and Joseph” (check out link at the bottom of the article for a visual timeline)
 
Sunday, March 21, 2021- “Our Family Tree - Through the Bible in 2021"- “Jacob Meets His Match” (Genesis 28-33) - ONLINE Only
 
Pastor Jane Peck, Hope Chapel
(Collingwood EMCC Church)
 
"Learning and Living the Way of Jesus!"